A Razor and a Bruise
by aka the Lemon Lover
Summary: Tamiki feels hated by everyone, so he cuts. Kyoyas dad thinks Kyoya is ruining his future, so he beats him. These two friends will need each other more than ever. KyoyaxTamiki MommyxDaddy WARNINGS: Cutting, Child abuse, Near rape( later chapter), fluff, smutt, crap ass summary. Enjoy!
1. 1 Secrets Kyoya POV

Aka: Hello wonderful readers. WARNING triggering subjects(abuse, cutting). Coarse language.

Bay: Enter at your own risk. Lemon is cray.

Aka: *growls* Do I need to get Russia?

Bay: Why do you always have APH solve your problems?

Aka: *shrugs* Disclaimer, I own nothing but… Well technically I own nothing. *blushes*

Bay: *Facepalms* Happy reading…

"…With rose petals, white of course. And a green and blue canopy. I was thinking we could-." Tamiki stops. "Are you even listening to me?" He asks me, pausing his pacing around my office.

I love my office, it is so me. Clean, straight down to business, to me the room was perfect. It had a desk and chair, a couch in the corner with a coffee table in front, and a standard file organizer. The only decoration is the club pictures lining the walls.

I then remember Tamiki had asked me a question.

"Hmm? Oh yeah I'm paying attention…" I trail and continue to type away on my calculator, writing down finances.

I imagine Tamiki pursing his lips and asking me another question, that would disrupt me again. As usual I was right, and that's exactly what he does.

"So, how's life at home? Fabulous I hope." Tamiki says, trying to start small talk.

I sit down my pencil as look up from my desk. I lean back in my chair, then stop and wince when I feel the bruise on my back throb.

Tamiki notices and frowns. He opens his mouth to say something when I cut him off.

"Well, my dads back, so that's fun." I mutter with a dry tone.

Tamiki narrows his eyes and continues pacing. "Is he still… You know?"

I don't say anything, I mean what could I say? 'Yeah my abusive dick of a dad is back, yeah he's really mad about my brother moving out. Oh and I'm in love with you., but I can't tell you cause you'd never talk to me again. So, how is your morning?' He'd be furious, then disgusted, then start non-stop talking.

Tamiki looked at me and his eyes soften. Not in a 'I'm sorry for you' way, but in a 'ill try my damn best to make it better' way. That kind of makes me smile a bit.

"You could always stay with me." Tamiki offers

"No its fine, he should be leaving in a month so, it wont be for too long." It's a bullshit lie and I know it.

Chances are I'd be dead in a week, cause my dad had recently taken up drinking. Although, there's no way in hell I'm sleeping over at Tamiki's house. My 'crush' on him would surely show, and I wont have that.

"I'll just stay at my house and take whatever I must like a man. I've done it all my life anyways…"

I don't realize I had said that aloud, until I saw Tamiki's eyes widen in disbelief and anger.

I flinch and watch Tamiki resume his previously paused pacing. Although now 3 percent faster, and he looks like he is thinking.

'Well, shit' I think. 'Tamiki thinking, most of the time, is not good.' I shrug it off, and continue to watch my secret crush.

After a minute of this I see Tamiki's new and odd quirk showing. He is rubbing his palm against his button up shirt covered arm, chewing on his lip.

I resume my work on finances, not noticing Tamiki shooting glances in my directions every 3 minutes.

20 minutes later and I finish my work.

I straighten up in my chair wincing as I do, and look at Tamiki. My eyes widen at the blood seeping through his arm as he rubs and walks on auto pilot.

I jump out my chair and race to him. He doesn't snap out of his 'trance' until, I grab his shoulders and gasp his name.

"What?" he mutters eye brows furrowing.

"Your arm." I breath, letting him go and go to my desk to grabbing my first aid kit .

When I turn around, he's clutching his arm ,almost hyperventilating.

"Shh shh, its ok Tami, its just a little deep is all." I murmur trying to calm him down. "How did you even get a cut this deep?" I ask. Trying and failing to get his hand off his arm, and his mind off the blood.

He stays silent, looking at the ground, shifting his feet, digging his left hand into the bicep of his right.

"Tamiki…" I brush a lock of his hair back, not being able to resist myself. "What aren't you telling me?

"

His head is really low, face completely covered. Now, I can hear and see the tears splash the floor, and each one is giving me a stab to the heart.

I lift his chin with two fingers. "Tamiki what's wrong? Why are you bleeding? Are you- Do you- Is that- Are you self harming? I ask my voice cracking and my eyesight beginning to blur.

Tamiki collapse's into my chest, clasping my jacket, sobbing. Tears, and chocked gasps flying out of his throat.

I settle us on the floor, and began rubbing his back, murmuring words of comfort and love.

My bruises, the office, the whole world doesn't exist. Just me, Tamiki, and the unanswered, always asked question.

Why?

Aka: Thanx for reading, if I have any readers…

Bay: You don't, this is like, mostly for you to read.

Aka: *frowns* Ill get Ivan if you don't shut up

Bay: *Runs to the kitchen in terror* Mattie help!

Aka: Keseseses. See you next chapter. Please review. Flames will be given to Mattie to pancakes with. Ciao!


	2. 2 Secrets Tamiki

Bay: We're back! Rawr!

Aka:… Any ways WARNINGS: Triggering language, cussing, gay fluff, angst, mentions of abuse and violence

Bay: I'm hungry….

Aka: Then go get some food from dad. **Disclaimer **I own nothing. I have like, 3 bucks to my name.

Bay: Papa, can you make me an omelet!

Aka: Only Canada can call dad papa…

Bay:…IDGAF! *twirls away*

Aka: O.o um ok. On with the story!

"…With rose petals, white of course. And a green and blue canopy. I was thinking we could-." I stop. "Are you even listening to me?" I ask him, pausing my pacing around his office.

He is silent and frozen after my question.

I take this moment to look at him. His sight does not make me happy.

He's lost some weight since last weekend. The only time he and I can really talk. I mean yeah, I see him at school. But I don't really get a chance to make sure he's ok. Today, he looks really sick. He has his usual bags under his eyes, yet today they seem deeper. He's been wincing all day, and I know that I saw a bruise on his stomach when he stretched earlier this morning. Not to mention he's been flinching a lot lately.

"Hmm? Oh yeah I'm paying attention…" He trails and continues to type away on his calculator, writing down finances.

My face falls and I swallow my pain . I mean, I know he has a lot of work he needs done, but it hurts to not be cared about.

'_I want someone to notice when I'm hurting and in pain. I want some love and affection too.' _I think.

I brush off the pain, and continue my thoughts.

'_I just want him to talk to me' _I think _'Maybe if I start a conversation…' _.

"So, how's life at home? Fabulous I hope." I ask Kyo, who's typing up a storm.

He sits down his pencil as he looks up from the desk. He leans back in his hair, then stops and winces.

I see this and frown. Did he 'fall' down the stairs again? I open my mouth to ask, when he cuts me off.

"Well, my dads back, so that's fun." He whispers with a heartbreaking tone.

I narrow my eyes and continue to pace. I swear if that asshole is still putting his hands on my Kyo.

I internally frown at my self. Kyo could never be mine. He won't love someone like me…

I mentally shake that off.

"Is he still… You know?" I ask him.

His silence is all the answer I need.

'_Ill kill his dad' _I promise my self_. 'Ill do it with my own godamn hands! I'm not going to let Mommy keep being abused ' _

I'm already plotting his death when I see Kyoya.

He looks so defeated. Like he's tired of all the pain and just wants to be free of it all.

Kyoya, how I want to take away your pain and give you love instead.

I make eye contact. Trying to show him all the affection I want to give him, with one gaze.

He smiles so I assume its working.

"You could always stay with me." I offer trying to get him out of that hell hole for at least a couple days.

."No its fine, he should be leaving in a month so, it wont be for too long." he says. His inner conflict showing.

I internally sigh; he is such a stubborn ass. Why won't he let me protect him?

"I'll just stay at my house and take whatever I must like a man. I've done it all my life anyways…"

I widen my eyes in anger. He knows he doesn't have to go through this shit. He could just stay with me, and work from my house.

I began plotting ways from him to escape as I start pacing again.

'_What am I going to do?'_

33333333333333333333333

As I pace my dark thoughts creep in.

I glance at mommy. Worrying that he might be able to hear my thoughts.

It begins with me with a razor blade in my hand. Dragging it across my thigh. Then, my stomach, I wince and speed up my pacing a bit. Next my arm, cutting lower and lower until I hit a vein. That thought numbs me. Slicing a vein, and dying.

I glance at Kyo, I wonder if he would care if I die?

Death kind of sounds nice. Not having to pretend to be perfectly happy and content. Not having to give the host club girls my love and attention. No annoying girls, no razor blades, just a good night of rest, and then I wake up, and I'm happy.

'_I just want to be happy. Is that to much to ask? _I shoot a glance at Kyo,_ 'he could make me happy.'_

The only thing that makes me happy nowadays, is razor against my flesh.

I shake my head. _'Stop thinking about your blade.!' _I mentally yell.

It's no use, I want to race home, and drag it across my skin. Feel the blood ooze out of cuts as I-

I glance again at Kyoya. I'm beginning to truly believe he is listening to my thoughts.

I continue pacing my mind silent. Glancing at Kyoya 2 more times.

A thought comes to my mind. Next thing I know, my mind is being overrun by thoughts of suicide. But I'm not stopping it. I just keep walking back and forth. Thinking of all the ways I could kill my self. I'm so deep in thought I don't notice the blood dripping, until Kyoya is grabbing my shoulders.

"What?" I say. Slightly irritated he is stopping my pacing.

"Your arm." He whispers. Letting me go and racing to his desk.

I look down and immediately start hyperventilating.

'_O shit, o shit, o shit!' _I think. _'Kyoya will know, and hate me forever! I can't live with that, I need him! He'd leave me if he finds out I cut. He- he'd- I-' _I mentally shout. My thoughts scatter and my breathing is going frantic.

"Shh shh, it's ok Tami, it's just a little deep is all." He murmurs. "How did you even get a cut this deep?" he asks.

I stay silent, looking at the ground, digging my hand into my bleeding arm.

'_I won't tell him.' _I think. _'He can't know. At least, not like this.'_

"Tamiki…" He brushes a lock of my hair back. I relish in his soft touch. "What aren't you telling me?"

I lower my head to the ground as tears cloud my vision.

'_Why am I crying.' _I wonder. _'Kyo gets abused, Haruhi is poor, my problems don't even matter so why am I crying?'_

I can hear my tears clashing to the ground.

He lifts my chin with two fingers. "Tamiki what's wrong? Why are you bleeding? Are you- Do you- Is that- Are you self harming?" he asks, voice breaking.

I crack. All my pain, hatred, and loneliness comes crashing down. I need something and I don't know what, but I need it desperately.

So, I grab onto to my crush, my love and start to sob.

I wait for him to push me away. Reject me and tell me to grow up. Instead, he's holding me and telling me he loves me. Telling me how much he wants me to be happy, and how much he cares for me.

In this moment, I realize what I need, what is missing.

The only one who can truly comfort me. The one who was the first to love and accept me at this school.

I know who I need.

It was Kyoya.

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Aka: *in tears* its so angst I can't even!

Bay: Meh. Sad chapter is sad. Congrats on your like, 4 readers.

Aka: *growls* Fuck you Bay.

Bay: lolz, that's what my girlfriends for ;)

Aka:…You're single.

Bay:….*blinks* *leaves*

Aka: Any who, review, comment, etc. Flames will be thrown at Bay. Ciao!


	3. 3 What now?

Aka: IM SO SORRY! *Almost drowns crying a lake.*

Bay: *Sighs* Toughen up you lame Poop. We are shadowhunters! We don't cry!

Aka: *blubbering* our laptop broke and we went to the hospital. Please don't hate us!

Bay: Uncle! Gajeel! Jeje! A's crying again! *Rolls eyes* Oh yeah. **DISCLAIMER** thingy here.

Aka: IM SORRY! I'LL NEVER UPDATE LATE AGAIN!

Bay: *Groans* Here's the next update. See you at the bottom of the chap.

* * *

(Kyoya's POV)

I'm sitting here, clutching Tami, and I'm so confused. I mean I don't even fully understand what's happening.

'_Why would he do such a thing? Why would he harm himself? Why did he wait this long to tell me? Why is he doing this? Does he even know how dangerous this is? Is he taking care of his cuts? Are any of them infected? Why is he doing this? Isn't there a better way to deal to with stress? __**Why is he doing this? **_'

I just can't seem to answer that **1** **question** of, why is he doing this?

My entire mind is just racing and thinking.

I sigh. It doesn't matter why. What matters is helping him through this and helping him get better. Making sure he stops. Being by his side, and figuring out how this even started.

That's what I really want to know. Why use this coping method out of all the other ones?

I mentally groan. How long has he been doing this? Better yet, how long have a not noticed? Damn I feel bad.

'_I'll fix this. I'll make him happy again. I swear it!' _I promise myself in my head_._

Happy with my new purpose, I scoot back -Tamiki still in my arms- until my back softly hit the wall.

I flinch and tense up. Any amount of pressure hurts that bruise. Just thinking about what happened this morning hurts.

* * *

**(Flashback to earlier that morning)**

I wake up and morning and go through my usual morning routine. Stumble to my bathroom, and make myself presentable.

Shower, teeth, hair, clothes, clean room. Easy, simple, sustainable.

I'm walking downstairs to the kitchen when I hear a bang.

"…I'm not going to continue living here father! I am a grown man and I will live like one! You do not fucking control me!"

I walk into the kitchen my mouth agape.

My 2nd oldest brother, Kyto, is screeching at my dad. Kyto has 4 huge bags next to him and he's wearing non-business clothes. Which is a first for him.

While my father is standing in-between my brother and the door. Red faced and very angry.

I stand there awkwardly fingering my messenger bag strap. Not quite sure if I should stay, make myself noticeable, or just go back upstairs and wait.

'_Should I just wait or… No I'll leave through the backdoor.'_

I start shuffling towards the adjacent room, ignoring my family screaming. Slowly scooting out the room, so neither of them notices me. I'm halfway out the room and towards the back of the house when my brother sees me.

"Oh, *cough* good morning little brother." I grimace. Why did he have to draw attention to me?!

He's staring at me with a fake, 'I'm totally not pissed' face expression. You know glazed eyes, fake smile, tight lipped.

I shudder at all the rage flowing through the room.

"Good morning Kyto….Father." I mutter, quickening my pace to escape. So close to the next rooms door when-.

"Kyoya, where are you going so early? It's a Saturday, you have no plans." My father says walking towards me, a good 6 inches taller than me.

I walk backwards, away from him, until I feel a wall hit my back. Flinching I say, "I have a meeting with Tamiki Suoh." trying to sound as proper as I can to please him.

My father raises his eyebrows. "Oh, really? What kind of meeting?" he inquires.

"Umm" I stutter. "It's about the club we have. The one I have to do for extra curricular credit…" I say my voice faltering.

He smirks. "Oh yes, your little host club. I didn't think you were serious about that. Interesting… I'll see you when you get back. We'll have some important things to talk about. A family thing, your brother knows what I mean."

I look at my brother, who is now pale-faced and seething. Glaring daggers at my dad. That's odd, must be having a fight about the family business.

"Umm ok. I'll see you later then." I say maneuvering past my father, towards the front door this time.

I'm a couple footsteps away from the door when my father spins me around, slamming me into the door handle.

The air leaves my body, and my back is practically light on fire.

Eyes blazing, his hand digging into my shoulder, my father thunders. "Is that anyway to say a proper goodbye! Surely I raised you better. You've seem to have forgotten your manners!"

I lower my head, ignoring my throbbing back.

"I'm sorry father. I hope you have a pleasant day… Sir." I say my voice wavering.

He releases me and smiles. "That's better." he grins turning around.

"What the hell was that? He says goodbye and you throw him into a door! That is it, I am getting out of here!" my brother hollers.

My father storms toward him, and I leave before I get caught in the middle of that.

I walk down my front steps after signaling the driver, my back aching. If my brother leaves, I am completely screwed.

**(End Flashback)**

* * *

Tamiki looks into my eyes, and I relax dropping my chin onto his head, exhausted.

"Do you…" Tamiki starts. "Do you think you could stay with me tonight? Just so *fake cough* so I'm not alone."

I cradle him to my chest. "Of course Tami." I say, dismissing all thoughts of what my father said earlier.

He sighs as I rub his back gently. Tonight will be the perfect time to get him to talk about his new habit.

"You're- You're not mad are you Kyoya?" Tamiki asks, shaking.

"Of course not Tamiki. Although I do wish I knew more about this situation. I just-…" _'Wish I knew had to help.' _I finish in my head.

Tamiki sighs. "I know, and you deserve to know. I just don't want you to be mad."

I frown and tilt Tamiki's head, so I can stare into his eyes.

"I would never be mad that you are hurting. Just worried." I say while running my hair through Tamiki's hair.

I feel Tamiki wrapping his arms around me. He snuggles into my neck. His breath hot against my adams apple as he starts his next sentence.

"Thank you for being so understanding. I was so worried you'd hate me, or judge me… yet; here you are the most supportive person ever. I can never really thank you mommy."

I can practically feel my heart cracking in happiness. His words melting away all my pain.

"Tamiki we've been friends for years. I can never hate you. You're…Very special to me." I say blushing, whispering the last part. Extremely happy.

"Thank you." he mutters, sinking into my lap, falling asleep.

I smile picking him up and placing him on the couch. Placing the couch throw over him.

'_He looks so cute when he sleeps._' I think.

I stretch my back and sit at my desk and to continue typing. Unfortunately, my mind has other plans. I begin thinking about everything. My dad, school, work, Tamiki, everything that's been happening.

I sigh, turning off my computer, and putting down my pencil.

All I can think about is everything that's happened, and all that is happening. Until my brain thinks two words that just completely stump me. A question I can never seem to answer.

What now?

* * *

Aka: Well now that that's done, I'll see you guys soon promise. Updating ASAP.

Bay: I call bullshit.

Aka: *Frowns*

Bay: Readers, give us some reviews! Damn you'd think there's a review drought or something.

Aka: *Gasp* don't talk to the readers that way! I'm so sorry! Here, have some sunflowers.

Bay: *Shrugs* they're tough. Like Uncle Alec. Ciao!

Aka: *Glares* Bay… behave. Well see you soon and please leave reviews. Ciao!


	4. 4 Razor boy loves Bruised boy

Bay: Okay on behalf of AKA who is seriously weeping right now.

Sorry it took forever to update. Would have been up sooner, but my dads WiFi hates me.

(Our brother, Canada): Hey guys, um, AKA also said the next chapter will be up soon.

Bay: Thanx Mattie. K WARNINGS: Reference to cutting and abuse. That is all.

Canada: Bye!

* * *

**(Tamiki's POV)**

I awoke to an even-paced slight nudging. Kyoya is softly shaking my hip, trying to wake me up.

"Yes…" I mutter, still sleepy. I stretch my arms and feel a few things pop in place. Finally clearing my mind I realize, it's almost completely dark now.

'_Well shit,' _I think. I must have slept through the rest of the day. '_Wait, how did I get on the couch? Oh, Mommy must have put me here.'_

I look up and realize Kyoya has been staring at me for a while. I blink at him and give a smile.

"Did you hear a word I've said at all?" Kyoya says, walking towards his desk and packing up his paperwork.

I throw off the covers and then stretch again, ignoring the band aid scratching my wrist.

"Honestly, I didn't hear a single word you said." I admit. Packing up my papers and sliding them into my bag.

"Well, since it is 10:27, I think it would be best to leave now. Unless, you wish to stay here and have a sleepover." Kyoya says, with a roll of his eyes.

I roll my eyes too, and walk over to him poking his cheek. "Oh hush you." I mutter, pulling out my phone and calling my private driver, telling him to pick me up from our usual place.

I walk towards the door but take a minute to stare at Kyoya.

"Wait, is there something wrong." he asks, looking around.

I smile and raise my hands. "Slumber party," I scream, swaying out the room. Missing the way he shakes his head with a loving smile.

* * *

I collapse on my bed, tossing my messenger bag onto my desk. Kyoya puts his neatly on the ground next to the foot of the bed. He pulls off his jacket, laying it on the chair near my desk. You pull of your jacket and toss it to the ground. Forgetting Kyoya is right there. You bend to pick it up, but your feet aren't placed correctly and you fall on your face.

"Tamiki!" Kyoya gasps rushing to help you up. You sigh and maneuver towards the bed after standing up. Kyoya walks towards you, and looks you over.

"Are you ok?" he asks, searching for injuries, but only finding the ones on your arms. He sighs and holds your hands in his.

"Tamiki, you can't keep doing this to your self." He says, softly stroking my arms.

I sigh, maybe I should tell him. Here goes nothing. "Listen, I know I need to stop ok. I'm just- really stressed, and need some way to deal with things. I'm going through a lot right now, and I just don't know what to do! Cutting," you wince, "helps me control at least one thing in my life, and I don't know if I _can _stop. I know I'm being stupid and selfish, but- I need the release. I know it's not good, or healthy, but I can't stop. I just- Please don't be mad at me." I whisper, finishing my short speech.

He just stares at me, before slipping off his shoes and sitting on the bed, legs crossed. I do the same, except I lay with my head in his lap.

"Tamiki, if you need someone to talk to, you know I'm always available." Kyoya starts. "I-I care about you a lot and don't want to see you in pain. Talk to me; write about it, sing, hell, cut me if you need to. Just please, please, don't cut yourself again." He finishes, stroking my hair.

I sit up and he reaches out his arms, inviting me in for a hug. That's when I just lose it. Deep, choking sobs rake my body, as I crumple into his chest, weeping. I just feel so, relived, happy, and safe. Just knowing Kyoya was still here for me, and didn't think I was a pathetic drama queen, made it all the better. He just keeps stroking my back, telling me it's ok. Everything seems so much brighter now. Until Kyoya's pain filled gasp fills the room.

I shoot upward and look at Kyoya who is avoiding looking at me. So I grab his chin gently, and move it so I can stare him in the eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a minor bruise. Just forget-"

"Lift up your shirt." I say quietly, cussing out Kyoya's dad in my head.

"Tamiki, its nothing-"

"Lift. Up. Your. Shirt." I say with clenched teeth, seriously angry at his father.

Kyoya hesitates, silently pleading with his eyes. I glare at him softly, urging him on. He inhales sharply, before grabbing his shirt from the back, and lifting it over his head. I see red, and on Kyoya I see yellow, green, and purple, like a fucking rainbow of bruises. What get's me standing up and punching a wall, is the belt welts on his back.

"I-I'm sorry." Kyoya whimpers. Kyoya, MY mommy, MY love. Whimpering like I'm mad at him. I take a breath and realize that violence got us in this mess in the first place. Running my fingers through my hair, I take a deep breath and set my jaw.

"You can't live there anymore. I will not allow it. You either stay here, or I'm calling the police." I say, waiting for his reaction.

He opens his mouth to say something, when his phone rings.

He blushes, pulling it out of his pocket. When his face drains of all color and emotion, I already know who it is.

So I'm not surprised when he says, "Hello father."

* * *

Bay: Ok we promise we'll have longer chapters and update sooner.

(Our other brother America): Oh, AKA Said that the next chapter,

Should be up within the next 2 to 3 weeks.

Bay: Why in the fuck doesn't she just come and say this?

America: *Shrugs* Bye!

Bay: Ciao!


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